FEBRUARY 23, 2005
Trick
Your Mind...Get Happy
A
few weeks ago I came down with the flu. Luckily my schedule
was cooperating. I had very little work ahead of me,
so I decided to actually take the doctor’s recommendation
to stay in bed, drink plenty of fluids and rest. I settled
into bed and tried to watch some television. Jane Pauley
was doing a segment about depression and stress and
since my more popular speaking topics include those
on stress, attitude and morale in the workplace, I convinced
myself that I was both working and resting as I watched
the program.
The
statistics were alarming. For every two homicides in
the U.S. there are three suicides. Suicide is the second
leading cause of death among college students and the
third leading cause of death among youth overall (ages
15 to 24.)
The
program also addressed the negative effects of stress,
depression and absenteeism in the workplace. According
to the show, unscheduled absenteeism cost an average
of $610 per employee in 2004 – and the reason
isn't sickness. Over half of those surveyed cited personal
dealings, such as family issues and stress, for missing
work. Morale was also cited as a major concern. Absenteeism
rates were 35% higher in companies with poor or fair
morale. Low morale is contagious. I see regularly in
the workplace. Isn’t anybody out there happy?
Let’s
face it – we are all looking for some happiness.
Over the past 50 years, our incomes have doubled, yet
research shows that our happiness level has not changed.
So, if it’s not money, what is the key to happiness?
I decided to do some research on the subject.
Sonja
Lyubomirsky, an associate professor of psychology at
UC Riverside, has received a $1 million grant from the
National Institutes of Health for a five-year study.
Through her work, Dr. Lyubomirsly has concluded that
Happiness can become a habit…and it might even
last a lifetime. Like people who are naturally thin,
some people are just optimistic by nature, Lyubomirsky
said. Others, particularly worriers and dwellers, have
to work a little harder at it.
Psychologists
often encourage performing acts of kindness, counting
your blessings and keeping a journal about long-term
goals as ways to boost happiness. The doctor received
a million dollars for this conclusion, yet her findings
are so simple that many will find this not possible.
Yes,
performing random acts of kindness can boost your happiness
quotient. The theory is that many of us have negative
thoughts dancing round in our heads about us. Some call
it low self esteem, self loathing or the inability to
truly love one’s self. Many of us do not believe
that we are nice, kind or generous, and by simply doing
random acts of kindness on a daily basis we actually
trick our own brains into liking us and thinking good
thought about us. If we do random acts of kindness on
a daily basis, soon we start smiling more and having
an overall feeling of self love. Miracles happen. People
begin to smile at work and do nice things for each other.
(If you want to really understand the power of the mind
as it relates to self love and self loathing I suggest
you go see the movie, What the Bleep do We Know.)
I
got so excited about this concept that I presented it
to a group that I was working with last week. Interestingly,
I discovered that the audience wasn’t that keen
on being extra nice.
The
audience didn’t seem to get it. They argued that
they do nice things all day long for their customers,
and that great customer service was simply part of their
job. They wanted to know – isn’t that enough
doing good? The answer is, No. Random acts of kindness
means doing good deeds as they come up while we are
living our lives…acts that are over and above
our typical work duties. Make a personal commitment
and remembering to do three to five random acts of kindness
each day. Here are some suggestions:
- Return
shopping carts to the store.
-
Get to work early and make the coffee.
- Don’t
send e-mails that ask you to forward them to your
10 best friends.
- Call
your mother.
-
Send a small child a card with a note just for them.
- Help
the person in from of you in the airport security
line.
- Pay
the toll for the car behind you.
-
Watch your partner’s TV program without complaining.
- Write
a thank you note to someone each day.
- Buy
biscuits for your neighbor's dog.
- Drive
an elderly neighbor to the market.
- Include
a note or joke in your child's backpack.
- Shovel
your neighbor's sidewalk or mow their lawn.
- Put
a quarter in a parking meter that has expired.
- Send
someone a small gift anonymously.
- Buy
a subscription to your favorite magazine for a friend.
- Write
something nice about the waiter or waitress on the
back of your bill.
- Hold
the door of the train or bus for someone rushing to
catch it.
- Help
someone start their car when it has stalled.
- Give
up your place in line at the grocery store to the
person with just one item.
- Help
people load their groceries into their cars or, if
it's raining, hold their umbrella
- Plant
some wildflowers along the roadside.
- Give
another driver your parking spot.
COWORKERS
Ideas taken from
www.actsof kindness.org
-
Invite someone new to lunch.
- Welcome
and get to know new hires.
- When
a coworker needs to talk, meet him or her at lunch
and listen with compassion.
- Tell
your boss why you appreciate him or her.
- Walk
a coworker to the car or bus at nighttime for safety.
- Leave
a treat on the desk of a coworker with whom you normally
don’t get along.
- Write,
draw, make, or buy something encouraging for a colleague
who is experiencing difficulties.
- Offer
to baby-sit a coworker’s children for an evening.
- Remember
others’ birthdays and important events.
- Take
a photo of your colleagues at work and give it to
them so their families can see them on the job.
- Help
an overworked colleague with some tasks.
- Place
a flower on the desk of each of your coworkers.
- Do
some yard work for a coworker who is ill or recovering
from surgery.
- Refrain
from negative talk; concentrate on the positive.
- Surprise
a coworker with a soft drink, coffee, or bottled water.
- Offer
to help out with the not-so-pleasant tasks at work.
- Show
your appreciation to coworkers through words and notes.
- Give
a compliment.
- Write
a letter commending an employee who helped you, and
address it to his or her boss.
- Share
positive news and quotes with others.
- Teach
one of your skills to another coworker, and learn
a skill from him or her as well.
If
you need an extra boost to get on the kindness track
rent the movie Pay it Forward or simply watch the short
German film found at the internet link below (Language
is not important, it is the actions and the feelings
that are universal.)
http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/atom_520
In
closing think about this: Dr. Lyumbomirsky’s research
has discovered that happy people live longer and make
more money … And the truth is, if you live longer
you will need to make more money! But that’s another
article.
Go
out and do something nice for someone….
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