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December 13, 2005
Joy,
Peace, Goodwill, and Stress.
The year has flown by and it’s December already.
If you haven’t started to by now, this is the
time many of you will begin to stress about the holidays.
For
me, my stress kicks in around the first of November
– not so much due to the Holidays , but more because
I have a birthday a few weeks before the big Turkey
Day feast. I don’t know about you, but I used
to love having birthdays … back when I was 12.
These days they are so, well, forgettable!
My
dad Mike just had his 99th birthday. (For those of you
mentally doing the math, yes, my dad was an old, old
man when I was born). My mom Rose will be celebrating
her 94th birthday in March. Those are good genes. Just
for fun, I took one of those tests on the internet to
see how old I might live to be based on my parents’
example. After typing in Mike and Rose’s ages,
I learned I would live to be 118! So, I started smoking…OK
I’m kidding, but just picturing what I’ll
be like at 118, stressed me out.
Anyway,
December is the month dedicated to joy, peace, goodwill,
and stress. Holiday parties, children’s wish lists,
cookies, lights, trees, cards, relatives, house guests,
airports, price of gas and heating, centerpieces, cooking
… Is it time for a glass of wine yet?
Here
is a list of several simple things you might consider
this holiday season to help you remain sane and enjoy
your holiday.
Tip
#1: Make the connection…with
yourself. Focus on those things which make you the most
joyful.
We
all love the holidays for different reasons. Some of
us love the opportunity to reconnect with our families
and friends. Others love shopping, gift giving and watching
others open their packages. For some of us, it’s
more the glamour – the dressing up, the parties
and all the invitations; while others love to bake,
cook or just decorate the tree. Some can’t wait
to get on the ladder and put up lights around the outside
of the house, or put Santa and the eight reindeers on
the roof. Still others cherish celebrating the religious
significance of the holidays and volunteering their
time at church or community, continuing to give of their
time helping others. Spend a moment and reflect on what
it is that makes the holiday special for you. Prioritize
your energy around what is really important to you.
Who knows, this year you may decide to skip the cookies,
cards, and half the neighborhood parties to focus on
getting you house ready for your brother’s family
and your Aunt Judi.
Tip
# 2: Beware of the Martha Stewart Syndrome
– Let It Go…
You
may just love Martha and are happy as can be that she
is a free woman, but I say…this holiday it needs
to stop there. Beware of becoming the Holiday Perfectionist.
This
year just let it go. Let go of the expectations. Let
go of your image of the perfect dinner or angel-like
well-behaved children. Let go of the dog climbing up
on the cabinet and licking the pies. Let’s face
it, there is probably someone in our family who is going
to embarrass us (even if it’s the dog!) at the
family party. Sometimes, no matter what we do, the turkey
is dry, the mashed potatoes are cold and the gravy has
white specks floating around in it. Sometimes the sweater
doesn’t fit, your daughter hates the bedspread
you spent hours selecting and a couple of the screws
are missing from that Ikea desk you thought would be
a snap to assemble. Let go of the dreams of having the
perfect relationship with your mother or having perfect
kids or finding perfect gifts. Let go of striving for
the perfect table setting or the perfect brunch garnished
with fresh herbs from the garden. We have to let go
of the idealized holidays that we see in the magazines.
Get real and let it go…and being able to do that
is an accomplishment that even Martha can be proud of.
Tip
#3: Maintain your normal routine as much as possible.
We
are creatures of habit and routine. Our eating, sleeping
and exercise patterns can be disrupted with all the
holiday parties and lunches. If you are traveling and
are away from your home, sleeping in a strange bed can
add to your stress. When possible try to stick to your
sleeping, eating and exercising patterns. Eat and drink
in moderation and keep on Jazzercising. When possible
take a hot bath and don’t forget your deep breathing.
Tip
# 4: Don’t take it personally and don’t
be the Family Victim.
Sometimes during the holidays we get overwhelmed with
all that we do and instead of focusing on the joy of
the season, we focus on how much we have done for others
and how much we feel overlooked and unappreciated by
our family, friends and even coworkers. When our efforts
go unnoticed, sometimes it is easy to get a bit whinny
and let “The Victim” rear his or her ugly
head. Victims have a tendency to feel that things are
done with the intention of hurting them or making more
work for them. Their focus is on what others are doing
to them. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.
At one time or another, all of us have played the victim.
Just beware that the holidays set the perfect stage
for your victim to appear and stick around. Try not
to take things personally, but also be able to stand
up for yourself. When you come home from work or shopping
to a messy house, remember that the mess was not made
to hurt you or to get back at you. You have to try to
not take it personally that you are living with a bunch
of slobs! Also, just because you are having guests in
your home doesn’t mean that you are running a
bed and breakfast. Encourage people to pick up after
themselves, clear dishes, walk the dogs, and reciprocate
the hospitality. When in doubt, turn to laughter. At
the end of the day, you should feel better about yourself
and your life after the holidays.
Quick
Tips and little known facts:
•
The term “regifting” first appeared on the
TV show Seinfeld. We all do it, and we are all a little
sheepish about it, but regifting is totally acceptable
as long as you remove any evidence of round one!
• Men, learn what most women already know –
a pedicure and foot massage is hugely relaxing, especially
during the holidays.
• Gift certificates were invented to avoid arguments
about color and size.
• Sending "thank you" notes for gifts
can help you feel better about yourself, but sitting
around expecting them can make you feel miserable.
• If you're in doubt about whether to send someone
a card, send it.
• Yes, you have to go to the company Holiday party.
Happy
holidays everyone. Try not to stress out and enjoy your
family and friends. Don’t overspend! The very
best gift of all is your kindness, compassion and your
time. God Bless and I’ll be talking to you in
January.
Q
and A
Karen,
Our holiday office party and client holiday parties
are coming up. Any tips for me? I am new at my job and
I want to make a great impression.
Randy
Dear Randy,
The
number one thing to remember about office and client
holiday parties is that these events are not going to
be the same sort of parties that you attend with your
buddies. In fact, my words of advice to you are to treat
these as true business events and do everything in moderation.
Whether your party is at a big hotel, a local restaurant,
a partner’s home or the employee cafeteria, the
rules remain the same.
1.
You must show up! No excuses. You should attend
all events that honor staff, host clients, impresses
customers, thank vendors, or engage with colleagues.
2.
Dress appropriately for each occasion. Ladies,
your outfit should be neither too sexy, nor too frumpy.
Be current. Don’t dig up that cutesy top that
has Santa and the full team of reindeer appliquéd
with sequins, which has been packed away in mothballs
waiting for another go of it. Go shopping! Guys, wear
something different than the clothes that you wear everyday
to work. Look like you cared enough to put some time
into the event. Go shopping and buy a new sweater, long-sleeved
high quality shirt or even a new tie. Make sure that
you are neat manicured and polished and that your shirt
is ironed and crisp.
3.
Eat and drink in moderation: Remember not to pig out
at the buffet table. Also, they say that 98%
of all holiday party blunders are alcohol related. Beware
of an open bar!
4.
No negative language: Everything is “simply
great:” the food, the venue, the entertainment,
your co-workers, their spouses or their dates, someone’s
dress … All-great! Zip IT! No matter how tacky
you think things are you must smile, be gracious, and
if you can’t say anything nice, be silent.
5.
While we’re on the subject NO GOSSIP: This
is across the board. Do not say anything about anyone,
their business, deals, spouse, and friends. You never
know who is on the elevator or in the stall in the restroom,
or standing next to you while you are slamming their
best friend or relative. No gossip!
6.
Pull out the etiquette book: Don’t forget the
introductions. Introduce yourself and your
spouse or date to guests. When you make the introduction
say something about the person that might stimulate
more conversation. “Bob, I’d like you to
meet my husband Tom. Tom, Bob graduated from UT about
the same time as your sister Kelly.” Don’t
forget to introduce yourself to those attending who
are in to upper management, like the company’s
president, CEO, VPs or anyone you feel needs to know
you. Lastly, don’t forget to thank the person
who coordinated the party and all those involved.
7.
Be Friendly: Branch out, meet new people.
8.
Do Not Bring the Baby!
9.
Do not bring a casual date to the holiday office party.
You don’t know how he or she will behave. This
in not the time to experiment with a new person- trust
yourself!
10.
Stay an appropriate length of time: Don’t
get there 10 minutes before the party shuts down. Try
to get to the event on time and stay a while.
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