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April 2008
Taming your “Smart But!”
Alright. Get ready ‘cause I’m going to need some audience participation for this one...
Have you ever worked with a “blind outshiner?” You know, someone who was so efficient that they were annoying but you couldn’t be mad at them because they didn’t know they were an overachiever and effectively overshadowing your achievements on the job? If so, raise your hand. Don’t be shy. The folks around you will just think you’re stretching.
Or what about this:
Is your boss or co-worker a stickler for you doing precisely what he or she wants....but never conveys what his or her preferences are; or worse, changes them on the fly? I know some of you have experienced that so, raise your hands.
One more question: If you haven’t worked with one of the types of people above, are you the person I described? If so or if you’re not sure, reach for the sky!
Now, if we were all in a room together, I bet we’d all be having a good stretch right about now. Why? Because we’re human! We’ve all run into, and are (in some way and to some degree), the types people described above who I affectionately collectively refer to as “Smart Buts,” which is why things at the office don’t always run as smoothly as they should!
The term "Smart But" came about my first year as a speaker. I was giving a presentation on personal branding and rapport building to a group of managers and in true “tell it like it is” Karen McCullough fashion, I essentially told those managers this:
“YOU are the barrier to the success you desire! You may be smart but today being smart isn’t enough.”
That statement got the room buzzing! When I finished the presentation, a regional director came up to me and asked if I provided one-on-one coaching because he said that he had three Smart Buts on his team.
Here’s how he described them:
“Tony is smart but that lacks sensitivity and patience and steam rolls over anyone who challenges him.”
“Claire is a wonderful woman and she’s smart but she’s overly sensitive, claiming that she’s working harder than everyone else. As a result, she feels unappreciated and comes across negatively when she interacts with others.
“Donald’s work is phenomenal. He is a Harvard graduate so he is genius-level smart but no one wants to work with him because he’s caustic, degrading, and rude.”
Are you beginning to understand what a “Smart But” is? "Smart Buts" are highly intelligent people but they just do not know how to effectively interact with others. That’s a problem—and the cause of many workplace issues—since, in today’s workplace, being smart just isn’t enough.
So, are you one? Be honest with yourself. Are you a Smart But?
I am. Well, actually, I’m a reformed "Smart But."
I have been told, on occasion, I am too direct and down right blunt. First off, in my defense, I am from the Northeast where being blunt is the natural way of communicating. And secondly, I’m Italian. In our family most of our conversations were loud, passionate and full of gestures. Childhood friends often viewed our day to day interactions as arguments when for us, well, honestly that was just the way we talked.
Moving to Texas was a bit of a cultural shock. Texans are so friendly and they say things like, “Bless your heart!” Where I come from you bless someone’s heart at their funeral.
I soon became very aware that I had to soften my tone because people were often asking me, “What’s wrong, are you angry?” And that was after only saying, “Hello.” My communication style was not helping me get the outcomes that I wanted. Something had to change. It took a while…My "Smart But" was getting in the way of my success. I had to change. I read a lot, listened a lot and watched other’s reactions.
The self-awareness of how I came across to others has allowed me to be more cognizant of others’ personalities and then modify my own so that they were not put off by me. For me, the key was getting the “edge” out of my voice when I speak. When I do I notice that people are more open up to me and my ideas. They are more accepting of the messages that I send —whether it was a simple “Hello” or an inspirational self-improvement speech—and I can experience the success I desired.
Take a mini Myers Briggs - What's your type?
Taming your Smart But- the three steps:
- Become more self-aware. Observe the things that you do and the responses those behaviors provoke from others. Each time, ask yourself whether the response was what you intended. If not, it’s likely that the verbal and non-verbal signals that you’re sending a message other than what you’ve intended, and is therefore creating an undesirable impact on those around you.
- Learn who you are, who you are not, and how to better interact with those who are like and opposite of who you are. The easiest way to do that is to take a Myers-Briggs personality test. http://www.myersbriggs.org/
(Take the test now!)
- Get real. It does no good to know the truth if you do not accept it. Accept your faults you’ve identified in yourself or that others have identified within you, be receptive the analysis of your personality from the Meyers-Briggs, and learn how to improve in the areas in which you are aware that you’re lacking.
Looking at yourself and taking an honest assessment is never easy. But, it must be done if you want to be successful. Without self-awareness, you will constantly be taking the risk of being misunderstood—because of what you say, what you do, or a combination of the two—by those with whom you interact. So, if you want to be a success in business, don’t just become an expert about your area; become an expert about yourself as well.
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